Saloni Doshi

 Theme: Self Portrait

Artwork Title: A Journey from 'Who Am I' to 'Who I Am'

Art:

Final Output: A basic video to express how I want it to come together

Pieces: I have created 6 frames / versions of the Self Portrait - each walking through my chain of thoughts, sometimes all occur impulsively as my reaction to my situation at once like a chaotic storm of personalities and sometimes some calmer and sorted, well thought through aspirations of a 'Better Me'.

Medium: I have drawn this on a very lovely App: Procreate with my Apple pencil on my Ipad. Digital Drawing

Video put together on Adobe After Effects

Music Composition: "Shunyata" by my amazing late husband: Harshvardhan Bhonsle - the man who inspired the artist in me to bloom & just be one with art, let it flow & draw anything I felt, breaking my norms of what I believed is ideal art and realising that being in the moment, feeling it and just releasing it, breaking free of concepts is what makes one experience freedom. This artwork only happened because he gave me the space to grow & become what I never even knew existed in me all my life.

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When I thought of ‘Self Portrait’, it made me question what do I want to show?

A whirlpool of emotions & thoughts crossed my mind in a fraction of a second & I was baffled at what to do? Because WHO AM I? really! I know so many sides of me & yet I was very unsure of What I really am. So took a deep breath & broke down each thought one by one and took it one step at a time.

Frame 1: Literally a very basic self-portrait version of me

Frame 2: I was thinking WHO AM I till the point where I AM A BIG QUESTION MARK myself. I realise I am too many things, too many versions, too many personalities lying within me

Frame 3: Very first is the DEVIL in me. When I draw this, I don’t mean evil but more like the devil who truly embraces all She Desires, who wants it all, who is empowered, fearless & a Beautiful Bold Red – exploring, enjoying & loving every moment guilt free. Love, Lust, Money, Beauty, The Night Sky, The Romance & Magic, A Boss, A Worldly Materialistic Vibe who just believes in the freedom of Being who she wants to be, what she wants, whenever she wants, with no worries of the society, what is right or wrong as per the world…..

Frame 4: A DREAMER of her own world. Where she is simply breathing the fresh breeze amidst the nature, being one with the Earth, it’s beauties, being crowned as the Queen of the Jungle, by Mother Earth’s own creations, resting peacefully with the trees, plants, flowers, river, little bugs, butterflies under the blue sky.

Frame 5: TRAPPED IN MY OWNSELF- Living in a civilisation with a foundation of all sorts of beliefs, principles, cultures, we have been raised, surrounded by these & become these. But every now & then, my instincts question, wonder that there has to be more than what we see. THE UNSEEN TRUTH of who we are. At this stage I feel trapped – A veil, a wire chaining me consisting of thorns & flowers representing the beliefs, concepts, thoughts I have become bound to. Some created by myself, some offered by everyone around me – pricking me like a thorn & comforting like a rose – but as I move higher & deeper in this journey of self-discovery -  the thorns will be sharper, bigger & might hurt more, make me halt, but I truly wish & believe that learning to be patient & strong – will result in the path of a Full bloomed flower.

Frame 6: NIRVANA – TRUE BLISS As the flower has blossomed, the fruits have bloomed resulting in an ultimate flow state. A state of true peace & happiness – that everything happening around is just a happening and I AM IN ME. TRULY ME. A flow steady & balanced in itself. 

And as I drew this with a Hope that this is what it must be like, I realised that at the end while I may wonder who am I really, the truth is I am all of this, a different version in a different situation, at a different stage in life, I simply must accept it. And yet, everything, all of this is still outside of me, around me, but ultimately, I AM. That’s just it.

This is my journey of WHO AM I to WHO I AM….

What is I AM is still this life ahead of me to explore, learn & discover.

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 I am Saloni Doshi (Age 30), from Mumbai India. I am a graphic designer who runs a digital invitation company HAPPYINVITES.CO with her friend..

Illustration & Drawing, doing all things artistic is my Happy Place, my Free Space & my go to zone where I loose myself in my world & just be. Where I am not a designer bound to creating graphics for others as per their likes & orders, but a free bird flying, a stream just flowing, just being, no anxiety, no worries, no stress. Breathing… 😊